This Is Not A Break Through

this is not a break through. be cruel to me. louder. louder, i cannot hear you over the sincerity. this is not a break through. harsh reality in the teapot. say something else, stop saying that. step across the room and tell me something nice. you might save my life. this is not a break through. are you lovely enough to stay. accidental happiness, with a burnt top coat of desire. whisper your more intimate secret on my skin, i will not listen, i will not tune in, this is not a break through. save my life, for a while longer, tell me something, something else, i need a piece of your pocket, so i can keep you with my always. this is not a break through. i am dying, can you feel it. i am cold and i am hot and i miss you. undo my buttons, listen slowly, listen a little closer, promise me this. this is not a break through. nicotine rushes and drug free souls, the spaces between us, fill them with noise, music between the beats of my heart. this is not a break through. knee high ambition. sorries that dont make sense. responsibilities slitting the wrists attached the hands that are connecting yours to mine, kiss my soul, the place no one sees, the places some believe don't even exist to me. this is not a break through. question me, so i can give you all my answers. silly smiles, in the dead of night, i am dead, just like this night. this is not a break through. visit me, in my head. disco ball afflictions on the bedroom walls, bite my soul, leave the mark, the ridges providing a trail to a place that was free and delicious, a place that was dressed downed and timely. this is not a break through. feelings. feelings. they are loud. can you feel them. am i found. cup of tea. i am lost, again. lost in a cup of tea. this is not a break through. leaving, love. love, leaving. this is not a break through. raw. raw feeling of sensitivity, i do not wish to be sensitive. candle light passion, urges spark and flicker and move into my shadow. i am lost. i am loved. i am not. i am not these things. a piece of these things slide into my nail beds and rinse at blinking lashes of a need, a need that no one has because it is a holiday? this is not a break through. uneasy middle man. a bad spot to be. a vulgar mesh of help. a help that isn't right. a help i cannot admit i need, i do not want your help. easier happiness. this is not a break through. this is not a break through. i am breaking through.