Smoking Water

smokin' cigarettes in the 
bath tub, hoping the water
and smoke will fill the cracks.
fragements of myself are
scattered around this town.
slowly everything is chipping
away at me. the cracks
in the sidewalks reflect
pieces of me, i try to connect
the dots and end up scattered
like ashes, somewhere else.
i can't get close to the ocean
because it will swallow me up
and i will let it, even though
i can swim, i will sink. i step
back from you because you
want to fill the cracks, but the 
preassure will break me all
over again.