throwing yourself under the bus because why wait for someone else to do it. you see the green of the traffic light sweep to red and your foot doesn't release the pressure your putting on the pedal, it thunders on quickly, anticipating the crash. waiting for the slice of white light to drag you into darkness some sort of luck comes crawling out of a place and the intersection is clear, allowing you to make a slap shot slide onto an open road. suffocating time with an invisible fear, a bad idea that apologizes can't make up for. time twisting it's hands behind it's back and now bobs for your throat like vampires in the night. intensity, seeping into your pain. unpredictable confidence budding and blooming on the thorns of sympathy and creating bridges to places that your mind wish to wander, leave you standard on a paperback disaster where things are cutting edge and cut loose, where the things run wild and your mind isn't afraid of them. worthy of beautiful things, letting things in and letting things out. dealing with things, twisting them up. driving in and out. smiling with a tinge of death in the corner of your mouth. swimming into a pit of perplexities. cart wheels and half smiles, scared for your life and you can't keep running away from yourself. talking to yourself, trying to make sense of things, cashing in paper bills for cents and closure.
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