there was a moment of devastation,
a brief flaunting moment where i thought
the walls i had created were going to
crumble down, leaving me in a pile of
rubble, rubble i still dont think i am ready to
try and go through, put back together.
i dont want to collect the pieces.
id rather leave them there, discarded
for some lost soul to find and take a look.
ill find new walls to build, under different
sun and with new surroundings that i
wont care to see, but i should be fine.
and knowing that someone else is looking
at what was once me and thinking about
it makes me think i might not need these
walls, but my heart is far to weak for
such nonsense.. and the possibilities.
i dont think my heart is ready for the
possibility of telling you all about my
opportunity to move up and out without
the walls.. i think i want that sense of
freedom, i want to just be. and to be
without the confinement of myself, i was
locked in my own prison and i have
picked the lock and am stepping out
into a different kind of cage within
the atmosphere and giving it a shot.