Monday, May 16, 2011
I'm Evaporating
I'm going to be benched. I can feel it in the way your swaying. I'm going to be benched and there is nothing I can do about it. I can be typical; start to sweat it now. We could begin the argument, the one I know I'll lose but you'll know this already and you'll know the way I am so I won't stop and I'll put up a good fight. The gloves are on, the gloves are off but it doesn't matter because I'm going to put up a monster of a fight because I care or because I don’t want to be eliminated from your slate but I will be. Over time you I will be over killed and we will fight, but I will be benched. The transformation for you will be easy I think, not that I'm deeming you as insensitive or something, however it'll fit perfectly. Knock me down a couple of pegs and not replace me, because I cant give you that much credit and I cant begin to compare myself to that because I will be benched not erased, but close enough. I am evaporating. I'm going to be nothing but a watermark on the back of your relationship. I'm being selfish, I can feel it in fingernails that I am trying to grasp something that I cant. I should be selfless, try and let you go, become something new, a different part of me should move on, and forever you should remain a memory, a stranger, a passerby on a rainy day and ill take more notice to your umbrella than your face because I wont want to rehatch things, I don’t want to be dragged back to the bench because that’s where I will have always been since that moment of realization, a moment you decided. A decision made. And I should accept it. Why am I trying to give the ring around for myself, to better, myself, no. It will still hurt, it won't matter I'll be benched. Ill be pissed and sad and angry and Ill hate you. Secretly Ill still adore you, creep your life, catch glimpses of it here and there so I can stay under the radar. I;; have this waterfall of emotions and every cash along the rocks will result in a brand new approach. Crash - Anger. Crash - Sad. Crash - Content. I'll forget to forget you, and remember to forget you when I've already realized I'm remembering you again. I'm being forgotten, nothing but a picture at the bottom of your box of memories. I'm evaporating, and without these words it wouldn’t be a problem, but soon you won't even notice.
Horizon Robbery
Tying The Noose On My Beliefs
I'm not in it. Its like a layer of bricks on my skull, my shoulders, the pressure is pressing me down down down. And it's so very unattractive. The way I'm biting my lip to the notion of something I feel so strongly about, but why. Stop and look in the mirror, out of sight/out of mind and perhaps that’s exactly what I shall do. One of these days I just wont care and then what, a force field of pent up ammunition that I am no longer responsible for because the target is direct but I cant seem to gain any self control. A walking disaster, what is my problem. Your problems are none of my business, and I am condoning such behavior. It's sickening how much I disagree and try to hold onto the slice of dream-like trance to make everything better. I was once put under the magnified glass, probed as if these actions were ones I was making and I wasn’t making them. Your making them. They are your actions and I will step aside. Tying the noose on my beliefs. Applauding something I don’t feel deserves the applaud. Blocking out what's happening all around with substances; music and liquid, I'm swimming in the beats, sipping on the beats and I am getting wasted to cover up things I don’t want to face because facing them with liquid music in my eyes makes it easier to pass the time and the time is now, help me applaud to this car crash. Don’t read into the words or take them as poetic analogies, for they are simple feelings metamorphosed into a more verbal approach. Take note of this. Look at it. Read it and don't fly off your rocket. I do not doubt the action or the feeling or the moment you are experiencing I do not doubt it at all. I am not enraged. I am not jealous. I am no longer going to worry. I am going to shelve my beliefs, tie the noose tight and throw the feelings somewhere else. I am no longer going to fight it with compassion or desire, I am no longer going to try and figure it out in a pretty way to paint pictures that will take away the empty feeling. I am going to walk away. Let the flame flicker in my shadow. I am going to drink away the pain with intoxicating music like an alcoholic to the reality of what I've done. I am shelved.
An Affair For Champions
Let me tell you about this thing. This passionate, fleeting, ultra violet love affair that has got me hooked. I don't use the word love loosely when diving into the depths of this affair because I am in love with it, the affair that is.. I use the word fleeting for an entirely effective purpose, because like the wind, this love affair is fleeting. This way and that way, but never reprimanded. Even while this affair is in action, fleeting to the next moment, minute, hour, or day it is present. Like a raindrop that has stained your skin, a likely comparison for anything so supple as this. The amount of passion this affair is containing in those moments, minutes, hours, or days is the root of all that is passionate. Passion would be based on this sort of thing. Ultra violet dresses the affair in a flowing flavour, a colour you could taste, recognizable with just the tips of your fingertips. Not rose coloured or a dream even tho those moments, minutes, hours, and days feel dream like and all your thoughts are replaced with dreams and marbles for eyes and everything almost brand new, but still brand new. A new corner, a fork in the road and things are happening. An affair for champions. A winning of fashionable characters. Let me tell you about this thing. This passionate, fleeting, ultra violet love affair that has got me thirsting for more. Like a vampire in the sun, I want to sparkle - but don’t get confused, this is no movie and there may come a time when decisions needs to be made or regrets start to surface, but for now and until those moments, minutes, hours, or days are backed into a corner and squeezed of a choice. I choose this passionate, fleeting, ultra violet love affair. I have invested a part of me into it and soon will bottle and sell it for cash money, because we all need one of these. Trust me, you need a passionate, fleeting, ultra violet love affair. A second where your name sounds like flowers in their mouth, and they are the most spectacular of flowers around.
Cleavage, Like a Landing Strip For Idle Affairs
Raise a cheek bone to this joyous occasion of drunken love and sober lust. Eyes glistening with a well lit spark, a flame fueled by attention, a longing of eye contact, silently undressing me from across the room. The smacking of heels across this hard wood floor is hardening other things, like candies in pockets. Cleavage, like a landing strip for idle affairs, affairs of even the most clothed embarking on naked adventures. Shiny teeth, and it's only eleven o'clock, nails just as shiny but soon will chip while you claw anticipation. Surprisingly ripped off by childish elements, turning liquid into pretty idealistic moments shared behind closed doors; be it closets, bathrooms, doors, and stairwells. The closure of one thing and the opening of another - mind blown wide open. Pretty truffles, the perfect colour of under garments on an ivory skin. Lips marking up the most expensive of collars and tongues playing with the idea of sultry secrets that will be picked up in hear say. A Cadillac of fevers with their high beams on, flashing for photographs that won't be framed, underwear drawer material and a years worth of blame. Hand cuffed to ambition, on the coat tails of powerful people, with an enraged tipsy feeling that has casted stars across your eyelids, and we aren't talking makeup tonight, we ain't talking makeup tonight.
Dancing On A Flame
I've developed this condition. It might be like a love affair, or a blossoming infatuation. However, all the symptoms are there, all the feelings of nostalgic passion keeping me up at night, an insomniacs twisted occupation. It's something like wet nail polish, after you've done two perfect coats, you have your hands tilted to the sky and your waiting for them to dry, you touch the tip of a finger lightly to your lips and like a deadly kiss you've marked yourself with a fantastic colour of cupcake furry and you laugh, amused at the action but kind of torn between the spot on your lip and the lip print on your finger. You contemplate, soon forget about it, later remember it, but ideally you want to befriend your nail, take care of it's weak spot. I have developed this condition that I wouldn't dare label as love probably lust, definitely lust. But a different form of lust, it's a strange combination of too much feeling and not enough feeling but at certain moments in time I'm teeter tottering on this ramsack of either one or the other. Suddenly I'll want to pounce and then suddenly I want to talk. It's a mix matched emotion of fear and excitement, losing it all and gaining everything or gaining everything and losing it all. A spork in the road, and the round of the spoon has consumed me and the prongs of the fork are begging me to act. Make a move. Stand still. Make a move, make a move. I'm dancing on a flame we have both lit, a flame that is taunting you and I and I'm rolling around the idea like bubbles in a bath. I've developed this condition.
Dancing to The Cure Like You Need a Dose of Medicine
don't take it lightly when you hear i love you, the rust on the outside isn't comparable to that of the diamonds that have encrusted the inside of something much more beautiful. follow the answers to questions, question the answers and rewrite your offer. sugar on the table and i would like to see your signature. statue of evidence in a fish net oasis, and high powered dreams can't fight this fire. touching down in different places - twirling around in fashionable manner. looking for a bitter solution of all this happiness. a league of upsetting dreams, leaving you up late at night. impressionable tools with the coincidence of locations, off the rack studio time and a serious sense of pride. a severe lip gloss with the intensity to grab stars out of the sky and place them safely in your pocket, a place that houses coins and trinkets, beers and drugs, ambition and desire, lust and love. dancing to the cure like you need a dose of medicine. lightening tricks and there is no magic in what i've got to tell you, all-star setup and i can't help writing. yearbook secrets in a swollen bind for years to come, glossy covered rumours with no place to go.
Lost Stars, Sinners Repent
breaking hearts that might already be broken. cigarettes unlit but we're already smoking. people jumping for the ceiling, trying to catch a flight. flicking on their sunglasses even though it's already night. waiting for the wake up call that just isn't coming, kids getting looped out - straight slumming. times flying by but we don't really care. laughing at each others jokes, dare i dare. falling over one another to get to the phone, no body's calling and no body's home. laugh tracks keeps playing, like a song on repeat - there is not much music but we dance to it's beat. crumpled up ambition we shoot for the net, land upon lost stars, sinners repent. fashionable poisons, we inject into our sleeves - off the cuff notions full of stamina and steez. concentrated slumber, but we won't sleep. kisses from mouths of absolute strangers, we don't mind the contact. contacting people on whole other levels, ladders reaching spaces that you didn't know were there. size able candies all wrapped and ready to go, cracking up words and throwing them out. wilding out in a conservative setting, no place mats or ties of embellishment. no tidy attitude to step on your high. a beautiful day. a sun. a sky. shopping carts full of envy and your shopping for composure, disciplining radiation, a fiery romance. let me. i want to. i want to romance you.
Answer With Tongue
Friday, May 6, 2011
Don't Be Shy, Pretty
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Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Boys With Names Sippin' Drinks Called The Same
they say if your going, to take your heart and guts. blonde haired disco divas slammin' back shots. twisted little faces, puckering their mouths and temptation sure does look good after a couple of shots. highway driving in the middle of suburbia. bandannas in our hair but we really aren't giving up. pretending we have secrets while we sip our cups. swimming in pools full of cocktails and we aren't losing much. game face on but the game is over.meeting different people, trying to get closer.watermelon chap stick has got things magnified,and boys can't help but collapse at this disguise.summer sun lightening our vision high heels got us on a whole other mission. dipping into pools that belong to our neighbors,high five idealistics got everything on fire. plastic money to buy their plastic dreams.the all American present is getting reamed. global ambition and we're "rolling in the deep"sugar cube mentality, and tongues looking suspicious glorified fashionistas, pretty boy kisses old school games with old school drinks - modernized playground of jacks and jacks. no ball, no plastic pieces. boys with names sippin' drinks called the same.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Verbal Ambition on a Suicide Mission
verbal ambition on a suicide mission. things got you stumbling, straight tripping and putting your wishes, those wishes, on hold, call waiting - next ticket? writers block because it won't slow down, minds on fire and the sirens are loud. chaotic appeal shaking up the world and there's nothing straight about this curl. curve your attitude, wake up it's all brand new, and you've got to want it- to need it and need it to want it. mixing up the rights and wrongs, everything sounds good when your listening to those songs, dance moves suddenly catch your body off guard but the words are forming and they're coming on strong. dressed up, dressed down, the words are naked to the sound, pushing statements of actuality, can you hear the war on tragedy, punctuating the causalities and they don't know why they do what they do but they do it with pride, eyes to the sky, no looking down for the ground is what will surround you in the long term and we don't have to time, for we've got the short term and in that term it's your turn so what are you waiting for, make a move before the snakes come and get you and down the ladder you'll go - before you get drawn into this life, and life is a game, not a game show no complimentary prize, or big flashing banner, when the game is over - hello sleepy manor.