choosing to plunge my head into the sea, because i can no longer see the things i once saw. touching your hair, as if it could be the one, the one strand that is going to save me. the carousel of swelling sounds, found on the tips of my ears, whisper good things to me, make me understand. sharping the knife because i am prepared to fight, uniting my boots because i want to take flight. stirring the pot, because i don't care what boils. throwing in the towel because the worthiness is over. rising like a pizza, and sinking in the tub, bubble bath epiphany sent from straight above. unlimited amounts of tea, by the cup fulls. skyscrapers scraping the colours out of my pupils because i don't want to see the lavender goodness of your morality, i don't want to see the red of your lips urging me to go, go in for a kiss. i don't want to see the blue sky over your brown hair, or the way your eyes create little sparks of static, when you stare. choosing to cut off my oxygen, i want to breath something else, fill me up with wonder because i am good without, the actualities of this place, caving in on my day.